Monday, December 24, 2007

Congratulations to Aaron! And, a great product idea!

So, as the agile reader is aware, on-line edumacator "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey has been on something of a legal jag involving this blog's prinicipal, (at least when he isn't making fun of MS sufferers).

Now after some struggle, he did get an impartial judge to review it. And that judge looked at Aaron's fine, fine writing and said,
based on the Court's review of the actual statements [Aaron] has made on the Captain Capitalism blog, the Court finds that [Aaron] cannot demonstrate that such a "complaint" [about racism on the blog] is false.

Which is, ya gotta admit, pretty cool! I mean, there's plenty of hatemongering bigots out there, sure. But how many of them actually get this kind of, y'know, official validation or whatchamacallit? I mean, Aaron's actually gotten somebody impartial to sit down, look over his stuff, and say, yep, it's reasonable to call this boy's output racist.

And, brilliant deep thinker that Clarey is, he knew that. After all, he was warned that this would happen. But Aaron, being so much smarter than us all, knew that only this way could he have something, y'know, official he could put on his wall, or business cards, or something: something to impress the most jaded of Klansmen. What a resume item!

So, special congratulations to Aaron for this notable (and probably expensive) achievement. And, hey, you gotta imagine how proud his parents and sister must be. I mean, to be able to say that you have a relative that a fer-real court decided, could be said to be posting racist material! Man, the pride they must feel!

And, well, that's the thing. Ho do you express that pride? We at the Clareywatch were mulling over this little issue and we thought, well, you do it like people have honored their special achieving relatives for years.

With bumper stickers.

And so, we're giving away this idea to all you enterprising capitalists out there who want to be able to do the Clareys and the many like them, a favor, all while making yourself a pile thanks to the ol' Invisible Hand! I mean, why should you have to wait for an occasion to subtly drop into that cocktail party conversation, that the little boy has grown up and gotten into race baiting and achieved some real recognition for it? No, you should be able to display your pride right on your car, with something like this:



I could see it going even farther and getting into the sort of humorous thing that taps into the cultural zeitgeist, say, making fun of those other parents whose children's accomplishments are infinitely crappier -- something like this:



Anyway: no patent, we're giving that one away! So all you Clarey capitalists out there, while you're cooling down the printers from all those pamphlets reminding people which Presidential candidates are black or Mormon or otherwise unAmerican: try banging out a few of these! They'll sell like hotcakes!

7 comments:

Naham! said...

Gaudeamus igitur, your musings have the unmistakable savor of ineffable brilliance. Furthermore and res ipsa loquitur, as an historian of the Naham! school (that being, again, a rare and most select of educational institutions, my insightful probing suggests that Mr. Clarey has vastly improved thereby his status among racists everywhere. Or, as I have said, Quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus.

Ah, but those tiddly men who disagree betray only their ignorance of the finer gems of the historical nature, written by me and long loved for their excellence and authority.

Given the colossal significance of this illegitimum non carborundorum post I choose here to uncover an earthshaking revelation. As I have determined that the simulated voice of a baseline retarded Victorian snot doesn't adequately convey my specialitude, I will henceforth be posting in the voice of a cowboy. You may carry on, and veritas non sequitur.

Aussie Wiener said...

Brilliant! Clever! I adore it! I bow! I will for sure link that from my page! What else could anyone want?

Crapman Cannibalism said...

Oh, that's just so clever, you fucking socialist. But lots of people have told me how much better and smarter than any of you socialists I am, believe you me. I was just at this banking job - run, let me tell you, by a bunch of idiots who were there to make each other feel good, I don't know how they got the money, it just fell on them probably, look, here's the point, here's a chart from the Economist which means the exact opposite of what they say it does...

Aren't there any children I can pick on here?

Pants On Fire said...

Oh, that's just so tough, you repressed girlyman. Just the other day I was intimidating some thuggy little teens with my manly biceps and thinking, what a coward you are. Not like Aaron who is a model of quality racial thinking, probity and courage. COme get me! Step over this line! No, this line! No, this one!

Swan Peterson said...

1. You have posted pictures of bumper stickers which don't actually exist. To illustrate it is as if you had posted pictures of pictures which don't actually exist. A liberal might say,the picture does not exist. A conservative might say, this is not a pipe.

B. Have you consulted a lawyer about this? What did he say? And what do your girlfriends say to you during lovemaking? What about your priest during confession?

iii. I think this whole thing is based on misunderstanding. After all people with no insight can nonetheless be daring and contrarian and fly in the face of conventional wisdom: for example they can assert that shock the horrific mistreatment of wounded veterans, even though punished by the Army, is in part just misunderstanding of the military and in part entirely legitimate and desirable even though they have no medical credentials.

4. Yo should be careful messing with Aaron. You will find smart, decent, capable people attract smart, decent, capable help, and nasty fools only attract other nasty fools.

Ducktown Busty said...

Brilliant! There should be a way to recognize good, hardworking racism! Well, as a frequent Klarey Kommentor and radio show fan, you better believe I've got lots to add! And you know I should, beause that damn Hillary doesn't support giving things to white kids and did you know Barack Hussein Obama is black? That's right, he's balck black black but the media are hiding it from you. And Latinos are going to cause a lot of violence in America because their own countries suck. That's because foreigners are rude jerks who'll get what's coming to 'em. If only they'd go home so we can get back to the days when the supes were white and the workers black! But at least the Russian chick furriners may not speak English but sure speak crude sexual innuendo! And do you ever stop to think that some of those immigrants might actually be fucking?

Yeah, those liberals don't realize that saying good things about muslims is just saying, "Fuck whites!

Yeah, there's just too much liberal crap going around. After all, what Michael Vick did to dogs is no worse than what everyone else does to them.

You can see why I looooove Aaron Clarey!

Naham! said...

Yeeeeeha! Yippee-ti-ay! Giddiap, lil' dogies! We's a rasslin' hosses!