'Cause Uncle Joe, tells me so!

"Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey offers the following useful advice to up-and coming Iagoes economists:

When the elected legislature spends money on public works, in particular on public transportation, after hearing out specialists and public debate, you should look closely at the publicly available details of the finances, because rest assured the project is wasteful and stupid.

But when a totalitarian, unelected government spends money and commandeers private property for a public works project, in particular public transportation, without showing anyone anything and releasing what are generally understood to be doctored figures about the project's success, it's the right decision, and it's brilliant.

Incidentally, here at the Clareywatch, where we can't spray a seltzer bottle down the hall without soaking a bunch of atmospheric scientists Busby-Berkeley-style, we've been having a lot of fun with the latest batch of Clarey attempts to sound like a scientist - even appealing to "John Stossel" (no doubt quite the geophysicist) to refute the overwhelming consensus of the people who generate the data Clarey posts and to call, say, The Economist "idiots." Now we've talked on this before, and are getting requests to do so again, but, look - go talk to someone credible. Anyone looking to a guy who can't even read the graphs in his own purported area of expertise, to explain this stuff, is stewing in his/her own drool. Sorry, fanbase.

Aaah, Casual Wednesdays!

Usually, a man needs to look sharp: professional, alert, ready for anything the leftists might throw at him. "I don't worry 'cuz my wallet's flat," y'know? And I respect that and honor it.


But sometimes you find yourself softening up a little, and if you don't watch it, you find yourself endorsing longtime Democratic proposals. And that can prevent you from doing the things that need to be done, like, keeping an eye out for those "scum bag parasite" sneaky "poor" people buying filet mignon with food stamps, or helping people stupid enough to pay income tax on $10K. And that's why I like to kick back once in a while, relax, let myself hang out, y'know? Let's hear it for "Casual Wednesdays."

History is Bunk!

Once again, you can be educated by this post, in which Aaron Clarey, explaining why "real dictators are ALWAYS on the left," gives the amazing, previously undiscovered fact that

Hitler was a socialist. That's why they called it the National SOCIALIST Party.

I mean, who knew? Other amazing facts you can glean from the Clarey Method:

• The People's Republic of China is a Republic run by the People.
  
• Franco, Pinochet, Tsar Nicholas - all leftists!
  
• East Germany was the democratic one.
• Surprisingly, the Republic Of China also governs China.
• The Democratic Republic of the Congo is a democratic republic.
• The Democratic People's Republic of Korea is ... well, you know.
• Great Britain is just great!
• "Power drinks" are not just for weenies, in fact they do "give you wings."

Incidentally, there seems to be some question about how Aaron Clarey became "Captain Capitalism." Going theory here: frequently dropped on the head as an infant, combined with just unbelievable contempt for people who earn the title "Captain."

UPDATE: Wow, the laughs keep coming! Aaron responds to an operative from Team Clareywatch, questioning the intelligence of labelling the Nazis as leftists, with

But the nationalization of industry by the Nazi's would kind of make them live up to their political name's namesake.

Brilliant! Always stupider than you think possible. History is, it seems, bunk.

UPDATE UPDATE: Some of our usually kind supportive emailers from out there in cyberspace are expressing doubt that even Aaron is this stupid, despite lots of previous evidence. C'mon, guys, you could go look yourselves! But alright, just because I love you even when you're lazy farts, here's the PDF.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: No I'm not going to PDF it, but, the comments have continued and gotten weirder. And ya gotta think: given all the comments Aaron blocks, man, it's weird what he lets through. Enjoy, all - down the rabbit hole.

Lots in one package

You gotta admire "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey for packaging as much hate speech as possible into a thin package. Right here, for example (PDF), he pulls off racism and sexism simultaneously while seasoning it with a little anti "Jesus freak" bigoty: a threefer! That's economic efficiency. Ya gotta appreciate the picture, so in case you're not clear on exactly what it is the "Mexican women or Chinese women" are willing to do for you, you know.

Ya gotta admire too -- few guys can so conveniently pull up soft porn pix of Chinese air stewardesses when they need them. Looks like Aaron's found an economically efficient alternative to dating, too.