Study this before you grope!

Now, we're people of limited talents over here, hardly capable of matching the Pathetic Ignorant Little Man's many areas of talent, so, we tend to try to focus on highlighting his racial genius vision. You know,stuff like this little item on "Uncle Toms"(PDF) where, somehow gloriously failing to understand what an "Uncle Tom" is, Clarey nonetheless offers blacks helpful voting information and achieves (and approves for post) helpful insights into those peculiar little dark dudes from Klarey's Klever Krew: helpful and informative stuff like "Most lower class Blacks I have met have no skills, speak a dialect that only blacks understand, and wear their pants down around the lower ass cheek level. These folks wonder why no one will hire them. Is it easier to shout " Rayciss" than pull up your Damned pants and speak English?" Who knew? Which is to say, we don't really offer a lot of comment on the misogyny/objectively pro-rape beat where Aaron is also very helpful. But sometimes, man, something comes up that's just so damn helpful. Consider this item on rape statistics(PDF). Now, here Aaron tells us that "the rape statistics (which I guarantee you they are going to give) are completely bogus. One in three (or four or two, depends on the mood of the campus feminists at the time) women are not sexually assaulted." Again, who knew? Not, say, the CDC, who surely know sexual harassment from sexual assault, and who found in their 2010 report that about one in five women in America are raped and nearly half are victims of other forms of sexual violence (coerced sex acts, unwanted sexual groping -- fun stuff like that). But, what fun is that? If you let CDC inform people of this, and the next time you give it to some feminist bitch who is, deep down, really asking for it, then, you could get in trouble! Well, fear not, oh person who seeks only to help these women, because Aaron is quick to show you how to discredit them in advance, explaining that these statistics are "bogus"! You see, "the definition of “sexual assault” can now mean an “unwanted advance” or a guy who doesn't go scampering away at first rejection." Which, no it can't, but don't let that stop you. Because the CDC _did_ give an "over one in three" figure for women who've been raped or assaulted or stalked. And hey, what's that? Aaron's got you covered! Now, you still have to wave away those pesky other numbers, and you have to ignore that by stalking CDC clarifies it means making the woman afraid for her safety on multiple occasions by doing things like breaking into her house or car or sending threatening electronic messages or stuff like that, but hey: there's some ambiguity there! Sometimes you're just, y'know, showing you care! So go with Aaron Clarey here! Push this stuff out! Because that nearly half of women, man, if people start believing 'em, then, how're you gonna give those chicks the fine manhood they're looking for?

Aaron Clarey is a shit-eating ass

... and his blaming the people of Boston for this obscenity, just reminds us of it. But we'll keep the PDF over here in case anyone forgets. Always the rush to put it on Muslims. Wonder how that'll work out. UPDATE: And the shit eating ahhsole in question informs us that "Muslims prefer bombs in large places." Gives it 8-1 odds on a Muslim instead of -- well, some nutjob conservative. It appears that CAIR would be quite right to claim to be victimized by racists and fools.

Sic Semper Moronis

It was of course inevitable that Aaron Clarey would begin linking to Confederate sympathizers....

Great minds think alike

We've noted before Aaron's brave stance in openly sympathizing with the aims of terrorist Anders Behring Breivik, when lesser souls likePamela Geller and Robert Spencer ran for cover. Yeah, some folks hear about 69 children getting gunned down and 8 guys killed in a terrorist bombing, and they just shut right down right there, refuse to keep an open mind: but not Clarey!

Anyway, what strikes one when one reads the coverage, is how right Clarey was all along: this guy really was heroically defending his land against multiculturalism! Man, Clarey was on the same page with this guy from day one. Clever! I guess there really is, as he says, "only a hair of difference between what he's done and what I advocate."

And, wow, it is kinda remarkable! The guy even rants as much or more on feminists, as he does on socialists and Muslims: "the fate of European civilisation depends on European men steadfastly resisting Politically Correct feminism.” Man: leadership.

Lie back and enjoy it, Princess

As always, the wisdom of Aaron Clarey is daunting: like right here (PDF). When you're lavishing attention on someone who's caught your eye, how dare the little Princess tell you she's uncomfortable, or afraid!

Well, once she's married you (PDF) you needn't stand for that: you just tell her what you're gonna do. Man up. She may say she doesn't like it, but you can be sure deep down she does.

Man, how can guys lookin' to this genius for advice be getting divorced? Not reading hard enough I guess.

World's greatest boss

Are you looking to find the perfect person for that management position, who knows how to treat employees? Laydeez: looking to find a great dance instructor who respects you? Looking for a job with a knowledgeable supervisor? Well, check this out! Aaron Clarey is your man!

Let's let Aaron himself tell it:

Because I know, for myself personally, when I hear a woman claim "sexual harassment" I don't interpret it as;

"Oh, this poor woman was abused by this evil man."

I interpret it as;

"Another scheister lying her ass off and feigning being "insulted" because she's looking for a meal ticket."

Yes, folks, that's the Clarey way! Hire this man today!

Mass murderers of children who care too much: or, "just a hair of difference."

It's about the tenth anniversay of the World Trade Center destruction and here at the Clareywatch we're noticing that not a lot of people are willing to defend mass killers of innocents. But as we've said, Aaron's got a big heart full of sympathy for folks -- well, the right kind of folks -- that others pass over.

Now when Anders Behring Breivik blew up public buildings in Oslo and killed a few people, and then shot dozens and dozens of children dead in cold blood, well, you know the old mainstream media was going to make that look bad. And lesser souls like Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer, though usually happy to serve as professional bigots, rushed to distance themselves. Only one great soul, to our knowledge, was willing to embrace the poor, misunderstood Breivik and say, yeah, what he's saying is pretty close to what I've been saying. Yes, our own Aaron Clarey did, in one of his most remarkable posts (PDF). Everyone should read this beauty!

Right off, it takes the courage of an Aaron Clarey to realize: terrorism is something you can blame on the victim. Yeah, the mainstream media never tell you that! Furthermore, it takes Aaron to point out that the root cause of terrorism, is the pursuit of feminism. Who knew? But it takes a lot to pull the wool over Clarey: he's already shown us how letting women have control over their lives causes rape, AIDS, and even big government.*

Aaron lets us know in the comments that it's just that kind of moral turpitude that drove poor Breivik to take action, which of course is obvious and understandable:

I do believe, however, he has been driven to this by a general decay/destruction of traditional Norwegian culture and he could no longer tolerate to watch his country slide towards destruction and found this as his only means of action.

Sure! I mean, what else could the poor guy do? When I see some bitch who thinks she's not going to stay home and prepare the lingonberries and gravlax or stitch up a fine bunad for the girls to go sledding, well, it's a miracle I don't just grab a machete and head for the nearest junior-high-school. As Clarey tells us, "He still cares (perhaps too much and to a psychologically damaging level)." Perhaps! I mean, nothing says I care like I've just shot a lot of your children. And with these kinds of numbers, it's way cheaper than flowers, which don't work as well as that manifesto in explaining how we have to push back the Muslims and socialists.

What's also really helpful here is Aaron clarifies exactly what it is he's asking it to do:

It REALLY is only a hair of difference between what he's done and what I advocate with my "enjoy the decline."

Which is something we've been observing for years! REALLY just SO SO CLOSE to advocating racism-motivated terrorism! Sos it's great to have Aaron clear that all up, so we know what he stands for, or something very very close to it. Think those sissies like Geller would do that? No way, they backed away! Whereas Aaron knows that this is just one more golden opportunity for a little anti-Muslim bigotry as he tells us that you can take people's stuff, but killing people -- it's sometimes in quotes, you know, "killing" them, not killing them, 'cuz ya never know! -- is "too islamic [sic] for me." Fortunately not for everyone though! De gustibus and all that.

That's just the most helpful Clarey post of all time, I think; we really have some clarity on just what he's advocating. Thanks, Aaron!

Klarey's Klever Krew helps us get it, with a note that passes Clarey's rigorous approval process: "you know, this is STILL a terrorist attack caused in part by multi-culturalism." Well, of course! When you advocate tolerance and decency, and somebody -- somebody who just cares so much -- is moved to kill a whole bunch of people because of that -- well, I don't know how you live with yourself, preaching tolerance like that.

*Although to be fair, San Francisco's Robert Miller, who abbreviates it "Nick," points out in the comments that blacks also cause big government, so it's maybe one of them multifactorial things.

Those...were...the...DAAAAAAYYYS!

Now, it's true that usually you go read Aaron Clarey, to get fascinatin' economic theorizin', like praise for the Irish economy back when almot three-quarters of its welth was property, it had fewer patents and wose educational systems than much of the OECD, and terrible infrastructure (PDF), or seeing evidence of its awesome economics in its housing prices (PDF). Y'know, useful stuff.

But the pathetic little man's genius doesn't end there, and he is willing to stand up for a lot of amazin' people who don't get their due.

Consider his selflessness in this little posting, where he says,

...if you can brave a mile or two of gravel roads, you'll discover a great little town, replete with hidden houses, a city hall, a bar and a dance hall that hearkens back to the 1940's when the women would dress up nicely, then men would don their best cowboy hat and pretty much everybody would probably shoot President Zero on sight if they only had the charity not to torture him in the first place. And that's being generous.

you think, could there truly be such a paradise? I mean, remembering the 40's for the creation of the modern American welfare state, incredibly high marginal taxes on high earners, the rise of labor ... you'd think Aaron would find nothing to admire, but he's right as always! Let's take a walk into history and see if we can figure out what Aaron's talking about:







I guess he's even right about the cowboy hats and the nice dresses. And you know, not a lot of folks will stick up for these fun-lovin' folk: I mean, look at them having that big ol' party up there! "Please do not wake" -- get it? Huh? I bet these're people who really know how to Lindy Hop. And you can sure bet that if some talkative black man came into sight in some of these little, out-of-the-way 1940's towns, well, it is too generous to say that "pretty much everybody" wouldn't want to torture him in the first place.

But do people stick up for that lifestyle now? Won't anybody think of the little towns, the cowboy hats, the great parties after the torture? Well, thank goodness for Aaron! It takes someone special to appreciate stuff!

Coming up, more people only Aaron Clarey has the courage to defend!

Yep, still a bigot

Got some jerk kid in your neighborhood with a taste for destruction or vandalism and no sense how it might impact others?

Well rest assured that "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey is pretty sure that vandal's a Muslim (PDF).

And if you don't agree with this bigotry it's because you have a sissy name!

Such a sissy probably doesn't appreciate the brilliance of observing, just before Lincoln's 200th, that we decided our election to "assuage white guilt." (PDF)

And by the way, just before Valentine's, let's remember that Aaron's still a good source of relationship advice. So remember, ladies, if your boyfriend or husband asks you to do something degrading or unpleasant, just remember that these "chores" are part of the relationship (PDF). What a man!

Reader Mailbag

So here at the Clareywatch, we have a few friends, oddly, in the 82nd Airborne (which tells you that those guys're slumming nowadays). And, well, they were so damn fascinated by Clarey's posing as one of them while not apparently having much regard for them that said friends sometimes tune in to learn from Clarey's wisdom, and email what they find, so we don't have to go there (making this, apparently, one more thing the troops suffer on our behalf.)

Anyway, so, one of our correspondents emails in a huff over a comment by Clarey associated moron Mahan makes (PDF) about the Kent State shootings:

I am wondering if the Captain was at our alma mater when the 25th anniversary of Kent State was "commemorated" on campus? Yrs Truly chalked his own slogan of support and grieving for those noble souls on the Wash. Ave. Bridge to show his empathy and student solidarity; to wit, "You found out too early/ That dying ain't hard/ Next time don't throw bricks/ At the National Guard"

Now, our buddy is outraged because the National Guard in question fired at distant students for some unknown reason of great stupidity, and so half the people killed were bystanders going between classes -- and one of them was a ROTC cadet, shot in the back. Said correspondent sees this as emblematic of disrespect for the troops.

Far be it for us to disagree with Airborne Rangers -- hell, otherwise we wouldn't even post this -- but we disagree. For one, I can think of nothing more contemptuous of the troops than what Clarey and buddy Mahan do already -- play dress-up with military titles, but take none of the corresponding responsibilities. You want someone to call you "Commander" or "Captain" but you don't serve? That's all I need to know.

For another, I think the point is just wrong. Throwing gibes at the students killed there -- even forgetting that some were bystanders, just remembering the stupid action of the troops stupidly deployed where they shouldn't have been, when the protest itself was over the troops keeping action in a foreign country secret from Congress -- well, poking fun at those dead at a public requiem and then bragging about it afterwards requires a degree of sociopathy beyond which not much you can say matters.

So, sorry, AA's, but, we disagree.

UPDATE: well, of course, Aaron, the guy who points out that paying taxes on teaching salsa dance is morally equivalent to serving the country in war, counts up the costs of the war without counting dead, brain-injured, or maimed soldiers and their families (PDF). Big surprise.

Why Johnny can't get a job in finance

We don't usually go into Aaron's economic "theories" (NB you who keeps sending me that correlation chart about housing starts) but an old friend from Fair Harvard bids me tell you to go check out this (here's the PDF). Don't fail to scroll down in the comments where he "explains" it more, it's super cool! Evidently finance majors at UMinn or wherever don't have to take macro...

Take that, evil single moms!

Man, computer glitches are awful, aren't they? It seems "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey put up a post Friday telling those sad-sack single moms that their expectations were just too damn unrealistic for quality men like him. Damn straight! If your husband dies or beats you or whatever and you end up with a kid, ain't no way some fine fine hunk o' man like Aaron is going to be in your league, baby. But, funny thing, the post disappeared: we only heard about it here through the fine efforts of you Internet folk, otherwise we'd have been denied Clarey's wisdom. For anyone else not wanting to be so deprived, well, here's the PDF so you can read more of Aaron's great thoughts on women.

Clarey forces 'em to confront the white supremacist truth

Here at the Clareywatch, we get email. There's, like a bajillion whiners out there who've had their posts blocked by Aaron Clarey. Well, sure -- you try to say something that's some liberal stooopid piece o' crap, and damn right Aaron's gonna block it! To judge by what we hear here, Aaron's gotta stop a lot of leftist crud from appearing on the blog -- like he says here.

Fortunately, Aaron gets lots of commenters he does approve, whose contributions to the blog pass his strict standards. Like, oh, here, for instance, where he talks about Zimbabwe and a commenter comes back with:

Captain:

You want to make leftists really uncomfortable? Tell them "Ian Smith was right". I've had several such conversations. You have to phrase yourself really carefully, but done properly it can lead to some really enjoyable lefist squirming.

(As it happens, a Clareywatch operative snuck in a response to that -- said operative tells us he's banned now, though. Good for Clarey!)

Yep, that's right! Force those horrid leftist to realize Ian Smith was right! Blacks should never, ever have majority rule! Not over (shudder) whites!

Aaron Clarey's "Captain Capitalism" -- always a source of truth and light, man. Ya gotta "phrase yourself really carefully," though.

Congratulations to Aaron! And, a great product idea!

So, as the agile reader is aware, on-line edumacator "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey has been on something of a legal jag involving this blog's prinicipal, (at least when he isn't making fun of MS sufferers).

Now after some struggle, he did get an impartial judge to review it. And that judge looked at Aaron's fine, fine writing and said,

based on the Court's review of the actual statements [Aaron] has made on the Captain Capitalism blog, the Court finds that [Aaron] cannot demonstrate that such a "complaint" [about racism on the blog] is false.

Which is, ya gotta admit, pretty cool! I mean, there's plenty of hatemongering bigots out there, sure. But how many of them actually get this kind of, y'know, official validation or whatchamacallit? I mean, Aaron's actually gotten somebody impartial to sit down, look over his stuff, and say, yep, it's reasonable to call this boy's output racist.

And, brilliant deep thinker that Clarey is, he knew that. After all, he was warned that this would happen. But Aaron, being so much smarter than us all, knew that only this way could he have something, y'know, official he could put on his wall, or business cards, or something: something to impress the most jaded of Klansmen. What a resume item!

So, special congratulations to Aaron for this notable (and probably expensive) achievement. And, hey, you gotta imagine how proud his parents and sister must be. I mean, to be able to say that you have a relative that a fer-real court decided, could be said to be posting racist material! Man, the pride they must feel!

And, well, that's the thing. Ho do you express that pride? We at the Clareywatch were mulling over this little issue and we thought, well, you do it like people have honored their special achieving relatives for years.

With bumper stickers.

And so, we're giving away this idea to all you enterprising capitalists out there who want to be able to do the Clareys and the many like them, a favor, all while making yourself a pile thanks to the ol' Invisible Hand! I mean, why should you have to wait for an occasion to subtly drop into that cocktail party conversation, that the little boy has grown up and gotten into race baiting and achieved some real recognition for it? No, you should be able to display your pride right on your car, with something like this:



I could see it going even farther and getting into the sort of humorous thing that taps into the cultural zeitgeist, say, making fun of those other parents whose children's accomplishments are infinitely crappier -- something like this:



Anyway: no patent, we're giving that one away! So all you Clarey capitalists out there, while you're cooling down the printers from all those pamphlets reminding people which Presidential candidates are black or Mormon or otherwise unAmerican: try banging out a few of these! They'll sell like hotcakes!

Wow, that's jut so nice for the troops!

Y'know what's touching? When "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey -- a guy who's already pointed out that he's much too good to serve in the military and anyway pays taxes which is just as good -- slums a little to show his support the poor inferior soldier folk. He certainly seems to like dressing up like them, and going to places he calls "officer's clubs." (PDF) I mean, how comforting for people missing their families, or injured in the line of fire, to see their betters boying them on the Minneapolis stage. It's just so damn nice, no? The families of the dead must be so damn grateful, unless of course they're leftists.

"First it killed the Chippewa// And now it's killing me."

Some might be surprised to hear Ojibwe described as a "dead language." Well, it will be, dammit, once the white guys stop bending over. So look out all you evil Indians!

When asses read charts

Man, somebody has never heard of payroll taxes. It takes a classy, smart dude to never have gotten a paycheck!

It's so cool how nutcases can keep awarding each other military titles nowadays. Especially nutcases who are too good to serve!

It takes the brilliant insight of an Aaron Clarey to tell all the Christians out there how to practice, while not doing it himself -- wow! A theological wizard too!

So What?

Since "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey seems determined to diss a lot of good hardworking musicians, and show his pretensions to culture, let's pipe up here.

Now, your humble blogger isn't really in much of a position to be a jazz critic, as about ten minutes at his house listening to him maim "All The Things you Are" on a clarinet or tenor or trumpet or piano or guitar or banjo or oud or any of the other things we have lying around will convince you. But I've been lucky enough to be backstage or in interview rooms with Nicholas
Payton, Elvin Jones, Kenny Burrell (even introducing him to my parents), Olu Dara, Mike Stern (my fiancee and I spent a memorable afternoon taking a tired-but-upbeat Stern to San Mateo, then -- not my idea -- a McDonald's), Mike Brecker, Stanley Clarke -- you get the picture. So I know somethin'. Unlike some.

And I honestly believe that if it weren't for a certain nostalgia thing, 1995-2005 would be regarded as jazz's finest decade, past even the classic 60's Blue Note years. You still had titans on the scene -- Wayne Shorter, McCoy Tyner, Sonny Rollins, Herbie Hancock, the Joneses, etc. And "mid-period" guys who'd done a lot to expand the compositional and arranging possibilities of jazz -- Metheny, Dave Holland, Carla Bley, Chick Corea, Arthur Blythe, Julius Hemphill, etc. Some long absent masters returned -- Andrew Hill, Charles Lloyd, Pat Martino. And you had a blend of older musicians who sat perfectly balanced between long-standing tradition and the new -- Dave Douglas, Tom Harrell, John Abercrombie, Joe Lovano -- while other guys genuinely expanded the range of jazz in ways you'd never have predicted -- Bill Frisell, Dave Douglas, Bela Fleck, Chris Speed. Add to that a group of phenomenally, frighteningly talented twenty- and thirtysomethings --maybe more than in any previous generation -- who had finally shaken the 1980's navel-gazing: Matthew Shipp, Brad Mehldau (!), Brian Blade (!!), Ben Monder, Bill Stewart(!), Bela Fleck, Chris Speed, Chris Potter, Mark Turner, Jason Moran -- the list goes on and on and on. The globalization of the music -- particularly to middle Eastern forms -- was completed too.

Now, I would think nobody on the planet has more authority to talk about what Armstrong or Ellington might've found musically satisfying, than Roy Haynes. And Haynes doesn't seem to have a problem working with rappers or hip-hop guys. Nor does Shorter -- probably our best composer since Strayhorn (and honestly: these morons are holding up Strayhorn's musical generation as moral paragons?) Hancock is arguably the new music's godfather. So I don't know a lot about hip-hop -- but I'm not stupid enough to argue against those guys. And you can either listen to them, or some snot-nosed ass who can't so much as play a scale on a harmonica, and is now trying to do for culture what he does for politics and economics. Take your pick. Guys like Clarey are why the music stultified through the 1980's and early 90's as a generation of players all tried to out-imitate Freddie Hubbard -- why wouldn't I just go buy the original? -- although at least sometimes their arguments found their way into the mouths of intelligent (if grossly mistaken) folk like Stanley Crouch or his pet trumpeter.

But if you're new to this stuff -- please don't just ignore these greats like they don't exist: that's a slur on hardworking people keeping the stuff alive. Ellington, Armstrong -- they're great, sure, but if you're starting out in this, there's a lot of blisteringly excellent young cats you can go see live now -- so start with their stuff and ignore fools like Clarey. You'll find there's two kinds of jazz fans: guys who listen hard, and passionately love the music, and know it -- and brainless poseurs who like the "cachet" of stuff which has some cultural stamp of approval, desperately fear and trash the new lest they reveal stupidity when they opine, and would rather be at home with Aerosmith or something at least loud, truth be told. Clarey uses jazz lyrics like "Mahan" uses common Latinisms in an attempt to fool you into thinking he's a classicist -- let him BS you, and you lose a lot of great art.

(Don't get me wrong - one can accuse a lot of modern lyricists of coarseness and vulgarity beyond what's common: but the same accusation was made of the classical jazz lyricists. And the culture may in fact be going to hell - but for evidence of that, look instead to grown men who go around spending real time playing video games (although that does give us the unintentionally hilarious rating "M for Mature.") Or worse yet, adults reading Harry Potter books in public - hey, buddy, what's next on your list, Goodnight Moon?)

Don't fight the five-year plan!

"Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey lets his full fury loose on a stupid activist today, and really fleshes out her motives. Check it out (PDF)!

It seems that the Belgian state, in the superior economic wisdom only a government can have, has determined that a port must be sited at a specific place. But it seems some evil, heartless woman, "who never starved or missed a meal, who is suffering from some kind of mid-life crisis and looks back at her life and says, 'what have I accomplished?'" doesn't like them building a port right next to her property, lowering its value to her and others. No, this spoiled brat seems to think the wise, all-knowing state's economic plans should take a back-seat to her so-called property rights! Outrageous! Astounding! Next she'll be bitching and moaning because somebody wants to make part of her land a protected wetland or something!

Fortunately, Clarey points out that if the state "knows what its [sic] doing" economically, it'll ship people who even complain right off to a gulag. After all, real capitalism is when the state buys ownership of companies. I guess it's a sort of "capitalism of the heart"!

Thank goodness for clever midwestern journalists or I wouldn't realize how libertarian all this is!

Your health this week

It takes a brilliant, scientifically literate guy like Aaron Clarey to discover that Western liberalism causes AIDS (PDF). Who knew?

Whine and cheese conservatism

So, you read this long extended whine from the Pathetic Ignorant Little Man, and you start to think, man, there's some admirable chutzpah in going to an interview even after they've pretty much told you, by refusing to pay your fare, that they don't want you to interview (although granted Clarey seems typically clueless that that's what was going on). But then it all gets ruined by the sour grape-ism. In particular, what kind of fool lies at an interview, gets caught lying, and then brags about it? I mean, what idiot, after reading this self-pitying screed, would ever hire this guy to do anything? But then, ah, yes, Aaron Clarey is the kind of daring, convention-defying soul who spouts crud along the lines of,

I lied at an interview and got caught, and then they didn't hire me: therefore the system is stupid and stacked in favor of Ivy Leaguers.

or

I spout every kind of misogynistic crap, and women still don't appreciate me, which just goes to show that all the misogynistic crap is true.

or even

I defecated out a lot of racist hate speech publicly, and somebody went and pointed it out. Clearly Somebody done me wrong.

Yes, folks, whine whine whine, that's the ticket to glory. Never forget that Clarey's problems are always somebody else's fault, and damn it, he'll hire people to harass you into the ground to prove it if he has to.

Contagion?

So here's a Deep Question: AM radio bigots -- are they maybe some kind of spreading plague? Like bird flu or something?

I find myself mulling over this little passage from Eugene Robinson:

Nor is there much exculpatory power in Imus's defense of himself, which can be paraphrased as "I'm not a racist, I just keep saying racist things." What characteristics, do you suppose, could possibly identify a person who was indeed a racist? You think maybe that saying racist things might be a fairly reliable clue?

Funny; I've heard something like that somewhere very recently....

I think it's called a "bigoticon"

Ah, more pure, unadulterated bigotry (PDF). Nice to know by screening comments the Pathetic Ignorant Little Man maintains the highminded tone of the blog! And so nice to see what submissions he posts!

But I have a particular fondeness for the "I'm winking at you while I'm saying this" "emoticon" he uses on that last comment there to let us know what he thinks. There should be a special term for that!

Science is bunk, too!

Remember, now, true believers: you've gotta keep sucking up stuff like this, or you won't get more of this....

But ya gotta love the honesty. I mean, Clarey would have to consider himself a "scum bucket parasite" for having received a taxpayer subsidized higher education. But he's an honest guy so he always makes sure to show you, he doesn't really have what you'd consider an "education."

And still more Euripedes...

Now, over here at the Clareywatch we know nothin' about "Dave Thompson" other than that he lets "Captain Capitalism" Aaron Clarey sit in for him a lot, and is much admired by same, from which we feel it's safe to conclude, Thompson is a ridiculous, boneheaded troglodyte.

A-and.....yep. Guess you can tell a lot about guys from their associates after all.

A useful litmus test

Need to know if you're a pathetic, repulsive, subhuman cretin? Easy as pie!

Does this woman move you to compassion, or contempt?

Guess which side the Klever Klarey Krew comes down on!

For chemists only...

We're engaged in energetic internal debate as to which of these people is the second stupidest. I'm betting, no-ozone-hole guy. But from a strictly technical standpoint, the guy with "IR causes electronic excitation of carbonyl pi bond which is easily coupled into kinetic energy modes" is pretty off-the-charts, so I admit it's close.

Why do I believe in human-activity-caused global warming?
One third because of the freakishly smart people who are trying to convince me of it. Two-thirds because of the utter cretins arguing against.

Ask Karnak the Magnificent

Pathetic Insignificant Little Man Aaron Clarey has been awing himself with his ability to predict the actions of Hugo Chavez. Well, that's nothing, I tell you, nothing. 'Cause here at the ClareyWatch we made this statement about just how repulsive Clarey's views on, well, trying to be a decent human being are. And months later, he comes up with this and this. That first one's almost verbatim!

We'll be spending the rest of the afternoon moving pencils with our minds, thank you very much. There is no spoon, there is no spoon, there is no spoon...

Like Shaq, except short, talentless, and stupid!

In honor of Chinese New Year it's probably time to point readers to this little piece of brilliance (PDF). NBA stardom, look out for Aaron Clarey!

For some, a lack of education is their El Guapo.

Our apologies to those in the fanbase who are wondering, why no posts? There just hasn't been that much to work with. There's a kind of "sweet spot" to making fun of Aaron: when he gets too stupid, there's not really anything there. I mean, look at something like this: he doesn't understand just how ideologically broad the pressure on Bush is, nor that among the White House's not-necessarily bad arguments against acting is the need to maintain intelligence cooperation from a fundamentalist Islamic government with ties to terrorism (and he even throws in something to boot to show he doesn't get Iraq either). I just can't make fun of that: it exceeds even the level of stupid I expect.

But that makes me kind of rapturous. I mean, too much is said about how the Internet gives average schmoes access to great information: you can read about international affairs from the very well traveled, get war commentary from people with a lot of respect for the military, learn history and economics and science from respected, published masters in those fields, and so on. Look, all that's garbage, man. What's amazing about the internet is you can do exactly the opposite of all that stuff - in Clarey's case, all at one site: the rise of the idiocracy, brought to you in one-stop shoppng! Amazing! Look at it this way: sure, when a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters for a thousand years produce a copy of For Whom the Bell Tolls, that's impressive. But if you really want to impress me, start with stupid monkeys.

Consider all the bloviation lately over there on global warming. Now, there's a very small minority of people who know a lot about this stuff that don't believe in it, and of those there's even a couple without conflicts of interest. But the idea some moron using data
generated and interpreted by those very people, and saying, they just don't get the big picture -- now, that's laughably wonderful. And the proliferation of these little video gaming weenies talking about how the same people argued exactly the reverse in the late '70's -- hey, man, I was around in the late '70's. I remember those stories. And it wasn't nearly the same level of worry: and anyone who doubts it, can easily confirm it by scanning the scientific literature. There's just not a huge record of peer-reviewed 1970's studies concluding "global cooling" compared to what you're getting now. These are people who are utterly ignorant about how any kind of study is done, and yet claim to understand economics and history -- fields where the data are even noisier and the experiments less clear. And they're throwing up their hands and saying, oh, yeah, this system is so complex you can't pretend to understand it at all? Excellent! These are "capitalists" with a fundamental lack of faith in the very flexibility and innovation which makes capitalism desirable, who seem to think the whole system will collapse if it has to accommodate physical reality. Wow! These are the monkeys to impress with.

Anyway: sorry for the absence of stuff. Maybe we'll try a clever idea out in the next couple weeks.

UPDATE: We hesitate to put this up here because it's smart, but somebody sends us to this gloriously awake understanding of climate change and the stupid part of the right, written by the smart part of the right.